johndiu

Early yesterday afternoon DTFASM reporters obtained a copy of a confidential internal memo sent from the American Bar Association to member firms across the nation. In it, President Dewey (formerly of Dewey, Chitum & Hau) offered words of encouragement in the face of declining litigation revenue reports.

He laments the fact that the tragedies that have befallen the world over the past few years haven’t really been litigation-worthy, in contrast to the fledgling days of the anti-smoking campaign and the birth of the Ford Exploder, an SUV that would roll and burst into flames on command. Even gun control suits, long thought to be a permanent source of income, have largely dried up.
It seems many lawyers have effectively sued themselves out of business.


Mr. Dewey noted that while the Minneapolis bridge collapse should provide some decent income, Bar members should look to the RIAA for inspiration, and widen their perception of legal texts.
He writes, “Counsel for the RIAA have managed to take the simple act of transferring a file from one computer to another and quite literally made a federal case out of it. That’s the kind of resourcefulness it will take to survive in today’s legal environment. If we are to succeed, we have to find individuals who feel they are entitled to that which they did not earn, and help them get it.”
The memo’s closing section reads like a bumper sticker.

“Always remember: Departments don’t do anything, Systems do. We have a Justice Department, but a Legal System. Do not confuse Justice and Law.”

source: thisisby.us
Category: CA - California Bar Exam

johndiu

btw, just in case you skim this.. it's a joke..